On a lovely Wednesday morning 2 weeks ago, I packed up my little sleep over bag and took off on my snip snip adventure. I first drove to my parents house to drop off my sleep over bag. Then Mom and I head off to the hospital and check me in.
The first nurse I met was not my favorite. She asked "Have you had anything to eat or drink since midnight?" and I replied, "Nothing except for the vodka shots I had about 2 hours ago." She just looked at me, sternly. "Uh-huh," she replied. No fun. =( So Nurse Nosenceofhumor escorted my mom and I to the prep area where I meet my new nurse, she was funny. I was trying to negotiate the hospital gown and all the little ties and the nurse said, "yeah, these are kind of tricky, but since Ralph Lauren isn't doing this kind of gown yet, we're stuck with them." DING DING - Winner! I love this nurse.
Please note - I've not eaten since 10 pm the night before and my surgery was scheduled for 2:15 PM. So, I was a wee more than peckish once settled in. While I sat in my ever so lovely gown and warm blankets (they have a warmer filled with nothing but blankets!), my mom was sitting with me reading her magazine,
"Oh, Mah-gee, there is this recipe for chicken, it's low fat" "Oh, Mah-gee, look, Pizza Margarita - it's your pizza" "You know Mah-gee, your father and I went out for crabs last week, they were good" "Mah-gee, look, this is a good recipe for when your friends come over, look." Ma? I beg you, please stop talking about food.
"What? But look, it's so easy and looks good" Ma. Please stop talking about food
"You know this morning, I try the jam the neighbor made and it was very good, but sweet" Ma! I love you with all my heart... But PLEASE stop talking about FOOD! I BEG YOU!
"oh, please, you are being a pain." I love my mother. I really do. Those of you that know her can totally empathize with me =)
As this tet-a-tet continues, in walks my surgeon. He's very nice and down to Earth.
"Any questions this morning, Maggi? " Nope, thanks to the internet I'm over informed =). He runs through some questions and such and finishes with "So, you're doing ok? Not nervous at all?" Nope, what you about you Doctor Brenner? Did you get a good night sleep? Good hearty breakfast? Not too tired?
"Had a beer with lunch but I'm ok." DING DING - Winner.
I'll spare the post op story - summation - several hours of "could I get a little something more for the pain?". We left around 8 pm-ish for home.
Upon my return to my parents place,
GEMA - The Garcia Emergency Management Agency - leapt into action. In my room is everything I could need - bottle of water, bottle of gatorade, my 30 count bottle of Vicoden, tissues, extra pillows, 600 thread count sheets on the bed (she found them at TJ Maxx for pennies) and my very own wee pink hospital type basin for any possible it puking. Martha Stewart could not have done better.
Mom and dad were great and a huge help - I am ever grateful for them, even the crazy business.
Recovery is going well - turns out that my Gall Bladder has been in a bad way for months. What I thought were cases of heart burn were in reality gall bladder attacks. Had I thought of that stupid little organ before, I could have nipped this in the bud (no pun intended) months and months ago. But alas - live and learn =).
So, b/c my GB was a naughty little organ, it's neighbor the liver is not very happy at the moment. With time and some kindness to my liver, he'll be ship shape in a few months.
Food has been an interesting experiment as to what will stay in my body and what will not. I've returned to the Oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, rice and plain chicken diet - to Latin person, this is TORTURE, but I'll live. And since the attack 3 weeks ago I'm 19 lbs lighter - My clothes fit great! =)
So I've learned a few things:
Who knew the gall bladder could have such power - the little bastard
Activia yogurt and Colase are very helpful when on Vicoden
You use your abdominal muscles more than you think
TiVo is great when you are in and out of a sleepy haze - you don't miss a thing
Don't joke with nurses about having vodka shots
NEVER turn down an offer of Vicoden from your doctor
