Today, the role of blogger will be played by...

I've been asked to "Guest Blog" - I am both honored and mortified
Honored - no one has ever asked me to do that before
Mortified - What am I going to write?!?!?!?

In my infinite mad skills of sassily writing, I was thankfully able to compose a sonnet of sorts for my friend, mr. mad munkey.

Random

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

delayed reaction

I meant to post the pictures of the two lovelies, brothers, I spent a lovely sunday morning with



Hee hee - ain't they cute? My nephews =)

Oh, you're not talking about Christmas bells...

As the holidays draw close and family draws near, so many time honored traditions come into mind…
Football filled hours and screams of joy and dislike
Packing up the car to head to the mall for a day of shopping
Tiptoeing through the memories and photo albums of years past
And my favorite…The analysis of my singlehood and general lack of grandchildren

I’ve done some reading today, sparked by an article I saw on MSN and decide to prepare with an arsenal of retorts.
I’ve done some research and I think I’ll keep these in the forefront. Perhaps after the 5th glass of wine, something wittier and family scarring may make it’s way out, but until then…
Join me if you will and please, share your thoughts and wisdom as well – it’s most welcome!

[said with spanish accent] "Ayi Magui, why have you not been married?"

[said with typical Maggi charm] ‘No one has been smart enough to ask me yet’
‘Thank you for recognizing how high my standards are,’
“I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss America”
“Ya know, God’s single”
“I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo-doll rituals.’”
“One thing at a time. Let me get the sex change first.”
‘Because a couple of years ago I got a great deal on a 50 pound box of condoms, and I want to get my money’s worth.’

The funny thing is, there is no “why” about it, really.
Some folks are single b/c they are mean and suck. Some are single b/c they are too much fun to share with only one person.
I like the people around me, none of which I hold feelings so deep for or have the desire to throw them down and F’em blue.
One day, it’ll stick, if not, I maintain sole ownership and control of the TV remote and I don’t have to think ‘did he fold the bath towels the way I like them to be folded?”

Here is my statement: I'm cool, I'm happy. I'd like someone to canoodle with but I'm not going bargain shopping, you know. I love you all that care =) Thanks. If you would like, you could channel all that love and care into finding me a co-canoodler =)

What?

I have not much to say today. Which in and of itself is a rare happenstance, tantamount to the frequency in which GW admits he's a jackass.
Really.... no opinions... Shocker, no?
Had a good weekend, got some quality silly time with the nephews (who really are the cutest children ever) well, there is an opinion there but... hung out the Goldeners, saw Harry Potter IV... good movie, Harry, Hermione and Ron are so grown up and cute ... yeah another opinion...
squished some Camelback crickets who have decided to move in with nary a penny for the mortgage... Found my favorite leopard print jammies... that was cool

OH, yeah, so I bought this wee set of 3 christmas tress (2ft, 3 ft, 4 ft) very cute. Last night I decide to go through the box of ornament my mom gave last January. Serious, the box has been in my closet and never a second thought b/c it was past christmas. So I open the box and on top I see the first christmas ornament I ever made, in kindergarten. It's no objet d'arte, but I love that sad little felt thing (picture to come). As I get deeper into the box, I see that my mom has carefully packed an assortment of the Hallmark ornaments we've collected through the years. From 1985, 1980, 1976... I just cried... so many fun memories and crazy christmas'. All of them flooding back. She even packed a few of her very favorite glass ornaments... she has little bells, so delicate, beautiful glass. She only has four of them (my brother got two when he got married). She gave me two of them. =)
This unpacking and remembering reminded me how amazing a year i've had. To me, the passing on of the ornaments is much bigger rite of passage then buying my first home. I don't know how to explain how much it meant to see my mother favorite tokens all wrapped with care, in there little appointed places in the blue box my mother gave me.

huh... I guess I did have something to say =)

It was a dark and creepy night

OOOOOOo scaaarey fire...
...and our friends have new suits...
...and new facial hair
Oh my, what a suit! Dude where did you get that suit?
Adam is only going to tell us one more time - his mommy made it
Ward likes Adams suit but his is slime proof Tyvek
"But Ward, did you not see may fabulous shoes?"

(that his mommy made for him)
"Adam, that's some mighty fine foot wear..."
"... but look at what I can do!"
SO SCAREY!

Ward's Egyptologist Yalie Hairy Caveman
Raven may require some dental work
Raven shares a photo op. I'm Twister the Movie
Get it? Twister...

farm equipement and animals glued to my chest... never mind
Yeah, we get it =)
I don't think we've had enough to drink, do you?
Hmmmm? have we?
Nope, let's get some more
Michelle doesn't think this is enough to do the trick

I have been a wee tardy with post Halloween pictures - sorry!

Honey, I don't know where you parked the sofa...

...is it by the automan?

Mr. Edd China is tinkerer of things not meant to be motorized...

"Fastest Furniture
The Casual Lofa, a motorized sofa built by Edd China and David Davenport, has a top speed of 140 km/h (87 mph). Powered by a Mini 1300 cc engine, it is licensed for use on UK roads and is steered by turning a medium pizza pan.
The car sofa started life as a three wheeler with a Mini 850cc as the rear with a Reliant front. The car sofa has now been modified with a Mini 1300 cc engine and four wheels.
The speedy sofa is operated with a medium pizza pan as a steering wheel, a cola can as the foot brake lever, and a chocolate bar to adjust the gears, with front indicators in flower pots and a speedometer attached to the coffee table. The in-car entertainment includes a working black and white television.
Incredibly, the car – which has seating capacity for a driver and two passengers – has covered over 25,750 km (16,000 miles) since it was built."

He's even added new definition to the mobile office:


Way to tinker, Eddy (in the back):

Who says brittish humor is hard to get

"This photo supplied by Guinness World Records shows Edd China talking to a shopper while driving his way into Guinness World Records book in Henley-upon-Thames, England,Tuesday, Nov. 8, 2005, after engineering what the book calls the largest motorized shopping cart in the world. The 11.4 feet tall, 9.8 feet long and 5.9 feet wide cart was created to celebrate the book's self-proclaimed first ever Guinness World Records Day on Wednesday Nov. 9, 2005. Edd is also currently featured in the Guinness World Records 2006 edition book for his record for the World's Fastest Sofa.(AP Photo/Guinness World Records/Tim Anderson) "

"New York, New York, it's a hell of a town:

the Bronx is up and the Battery's down. The People ride in a hole in the ground.
NEW YORK, NEW YORK! IT'S A WONDERFUL TOOOOOOWN"
Good ole Gene, Frankie and Jules.

I get to go to NYC! it's for work, and I'll be running around and I won't get to see much... but... I'll be in NYC!
Very excited, I get to ride the Acela train, previously pulled this year from the Amtrak line up due to mechanical issues involving the brakes - so that it and of itself shall be an adventure.
Did you know...
New York City has a population of 8,168,388 people contained within 309 square miles (800 km²), and is the heart of the New York Metropolitan Area, which is one of the largest urban conglomerations in the world with a population of over 22 million.

I'd tell you more about the trip but recently I've been told I talk about my adventures too much (even on my own blog) So, why don't you tell me what I will get to do on my trip =)!
The one who best matches will win a prize! of sorts

And by "PRIZE", I mean "my respect and deepest admiration.

Stupid mortgage bill...

...do I have to pay it EVERY MONTH?
ludicrus, i tell you

I've been absent and will be a bit this week with a lot of work poop. And I have to work, apparently, b/c the mortgage doesn't pay itself... AND it has to be paid every month? what's up with that? =)

see you on friday - Much Love, Good Wish =)

Avian Day Dream

Birdies, budgies, Wee little things
Walking Dancing, sing sing sing

How can you not smile?
giggle just a bit
simple, sweet creatures
just lovely as they sit

I love these little buddies
going on with out a care
Can you while away an hour
do nothing, do you dare?

Can you enjoy a swing set
the slide, the jungle gym?
Can you make a silly face?
A paper hat worn on a whim?

I would like to be a birdie
hopping, pecking, flitting, glide
For moment today, I think,
I'll put human things aside.